Me and my doppelganger

My 50 years living with the other Kenny Farquharson

The other Kenny Farquharson. Credit: Phil Hannah

A few days ago I woke to some strange messages on my phone from friends and colleagues.

“I never knew about your side hustle!”

“So, you have been leading a double life!”

And, most puzzling of all: “How are your teeth?”

Links accompanying these messages took me to a news report from The Courier, the local paper from my home town of Dundee.

A mum who assaulted the boss of the Horn milk bar while ranting about “child slavery” has been ordered to pay towards his £1,800 dental repair bill.

Furious Claire Campbell barged her way into the diner off the A90 on February 10 and demanded to speak to owner Kenny Farquharson while filming him on her mobile.

When he refused to talk on camera, she shouted “the world’s worst bacon roll” before knocking trays of cakes to the floor.

As she was ushered out, she punched Mr Farquharson in the face.

Perth Sheriff Court heard he needed £1,800 of emergency dental work and could lose two front teeth.

Mother-of-two Campbell, 43, admitted assault to injury and permanent disfigurement. She also pled guilty to behaving in a threatening or abusive manner, likely to cause fear and alarm.

The Horn, on the route between Perth and Dundee, is well known for having a plastic cow on its roof and serving “Scotland’s best bacon roll”. It has become a favourite location for film-makers and music video producers from around the world.

The court heard Campbell had gone to the diner to discuss the sacking of a teenage employee.

Fiscal depute Nicola Caira, prosecuting, said the worker had been “let go” after taking a number of days off sick at short notice.

Ms Caira told the court: “The accused began shouting at the complainer. She was asking about wages and bringing things up such as child slavery.” As she confronted Mr Farquharson, she filmed him. In video seen by The Courier, she films behind the counter and in the kitchen.

“It’s all on Facebook,” she is heard saying. “I’ve got 1,400 followers on Twitter and it will be getting shared there as well.”

Ms Caira said: “The complainer made an attempt to get the accused out of the premises and put his hand over the camera. The accused then knocked three trays of freshly baked cakes to the floor.

“As the accused was being ushered out of the premises she fell over and stated she had been assaulted by the complainer.”

She was helped to her feet then walked towards the exit.

Ms Caira added: “As she was at the front door, she turned and punched the complainer with her right fist to the left of his head.

“The complainer sustained an injury to two of his upper front teeth. A splint had to be applied and he was informed he may lose the teeth.

“He is having to receive bridge treatment at a cost of approximately £1,800.”

Campbell posted on X, formerly Twitter, she was the one who had been attacked.

Solicitor Linda Clark, defending, said: “Ms Campbell now wishes she had just stayed out of it.

“She had been forcibly removed from this establishment and there had been good reason for that. As a last gasp she lashes out in frustration and punches the complainer.

“She has to take responsibility for any injury caused.”

Ordering Campbell to pay £600 compensation, Sheriff William Wood said: “This was a very serious matter because it caused significant injury to a man who was in the process of his employment. A jail sentence might be thought to be inevitable for causing this sort of damage.”

The sheriff added: “I understand this was done in the heat of the moment but you cannot describe it as self-defence - this was retaliation. This is a matter that crosses the custody threshold but I am satisfied it can be dealt with in another way.”

Campbell, of Haddon Road, Perth, was placed on supervision for 15 months. She must stay at home between 8pm and 7am each night as part of an 18-week restriction of liberty order.

As I read the story I felt a familiar sensation in the pit of my stomach. It was him again. The other Kenny Farquharson. He was back to haunt me. I let out an involuntary groan.

The other Kenny Farquharson and I have previous. In fact he has been making my life misery for 50 years.

I was about 12 when people started saying strange things to me, asking questions I couldn’t understand.

“Congratulations on your big prize!”

“I had no idea you were so talented!”

And, mysteriously: “What’s the name of your horse?”